calling all b'moms; part 2

SO, I just had a thought about the last post I did, asking for some advice from fellow birthmoms to help my friend Nicole. As I was talking about the situation with a close friend of mine today, I realized how upset this actually makes me.

Adoption is a sacred thing. Those children are placed because of an unconditional love their birthparents feel for them. It goes so much farther than just the child's current temporal needs. Speaking on behalf of Curtis and I, when we made the decision to place Cash it was so much more than us not being able to take care of him "right now". We realized without a doubt that our child's entire future for ETERNITY would be affected by our decision. It was a very spiritual decision I had to make, and I did not take it lightly whatsoever. A lot of sincere prayer went into choosing a family for Cash, and to this day I still feel "tingly" when I think about the incredible experience it was for me. I am sure Nicole and Justin went through this same thought process. Adoption is a very tender, touching subject for me to be open with. It is becoming easier through this blog, but He and his family will always be very sacred to me. I would be furious if one day Curtis and I broke up and he brings some random girl (that he was not engaged/married to) to see MY son. When I gave birth to Cash, we decided not to have any visitors other than our families. I wanted as much time with him as possible. I think I hurt some people's feelings when I asked them not to come, but they respected me and I am grateful for that. In the end, I had my two best friends, Nikki (who was in the delivery room) and Karlee come because they were so close to me, and also my cousin/best friend Hayley and my close friend Anise from dance. I chose who I wanted to share him with very carefully, and I really wanted these girls to see him while they could and love him with me. I drew the line at those friends, because I felt that he was too special to be shared with just anyone. Again, I'm sure that Nicole and Justin didn't invite the whole world into their special moment with Levi. I would love to have my friends see Cash because he is so darn cute! But I am kind of selfish in the fact that I want my private time with Cash because I don't get it very often. I would hate to share that time with my ex-boyfriend/baby's daddy's current girlfriend. Especially if that girlfriend was trying to take my place in my son's life. Not OK at all.
These are just some of the reasons I am so upset over the fact that Justin wants his new girlfriend Emma present in his birthson's life. Maybe I am over reacting, but this is something that really struck me in the wrong way. What do you all think? Thanks for the quick responses to my last post!

calling all birthmoms like "Nicole" !

Attention all birthmothers ! I need help from some of you who have been through a similar situation to the girl I am about to tell you about. (Names have been changed for Privacy)

Nicole and her boyfriend Justin gave up their son Levi in 2009, and broke up shortly after. They decided at that time that they would always go together to see Levi, and not bring their new partners. It would complicate things too much for Levi if he always had to meet new people his birthparents were dating. Well, Justin has decided that he is going to bring his new girlfriend Emma (keep in mind all involved are still teenagers), and doesn't see a problem with it. Justin no longer speaks to Nicole at these visits, and doesn't even want her coming to them anymore- which I think is ridiculous, because she is Levi's mother. Anyways, Nicole is very upset about this and is super frustrated because there is not much she can do. She feels really betrayed and powerless. Emma has been stepping in and is always nagging Justin to go see Levi. This whole situation is very difficult on Nicole and her family. I am close to her sister, and she has came to me with concerns for Nicole.

If any of you birthmothers are in a similar situation, or know someone who has dealt with this, please send me an email or comment with your own story or advice I can give to Nicole. So far I have not had to deal with anything like this, so I am not in any position to give her advice.
You all are great, Thank-you!!