openness

I feel so lucky today to have an open adoption. I got an email from Y, and it absolutely made my whole day. I didn't have an emotional day like I usually do on anniversaries like this, but I wasn't necessarily having a good day either. But as soon as I saw that email when I got home, my whole day seemed like a great one. I decided to share it here so that you all can know how my little one is doing :

Today Cash is 5 months old and I have given him even more hugs and kisses from you to celebrate. We are snowed in here in the country but inside our home is warm and filled with love and peace. Cash just finished a big bowl of banana rice cereal mixed with strawberry preserve. It is his favorite and he eats it with gusto as he sits in his high chair. He entertains himself with a bunch of toys I scatter on the table top and he alternates a scoop of cereal with one of his toys in his mouth. By the end of the meal he has joyfully knocked every toy to the floor. He is so smart and filled with enthusiasm for life. While other babies his age are still curled up in car seats fast asleep, Cash is wide awake and discovering life. He smiles all the time and giggles at games of peekaboo and duck noises. Last week at his first checkup with the family doctor, the nurses all oohed and aahed him calling him the cutest baby they had seen all week. I imagine all the other ladies with babies in the waiting room may have been a little offended, but it was so obviously true. I hope and pray that you feel peace today and always knowing that Cash is so very deeply loved and he will always know how much you love him.

Sending all our love to you!

Y

She is just an amazing woman and I love her so much. That was exactly what I needed to hear, especially today. It makes the loss of him lessen when I get updates like this, because I can picture him and it makes me feel like I am there with him while he grows up. I will never miss out on any special events in his life, because I know his mom and dad will always keep me in touch with him. I definitely could not have gone through with adoption without the affirmation that I would be involved in my child's life still. I don't know how women placed their babies for adoption years ago when there was no open adoption. I couldn't live not knowing where my son was- if he happy, or if he was even alive. Some of these birth moms didn't even see their child after it was born, or know if it was a boy or girl. I am so glad that times have changed and adoptive parents realize it is important for both the child and birthparents to have contact so there aren't any unanswered questions. It is hard enough to grieve over the loss of a child as it is, but it makes it a little bit easier to have the knowledge I do that Cash is being well taken care of and loved. As long as he is happy, I am happy! That's what has always came first to me. So today, instead of grieving I am rejoicing for the openness I have with Cash and for the comfort I have found in knowing exactly what he was doing today while I was thinking of him. 

Life is good.