Another Mother's Day has approached, which means another painful time of year for us Birthmoms. But this year feels different to me than previous years before. An account on Instagram has recently started trending #placed- that got me thinking about the terms we use to describe adoption, and why the negative connotation needs to be changed. I am tired of hearing the words "gave up".
Birth mothers don't "give up" their children- We give them LIFE, we give them LOVE, we give them HOPE, and most importantly; we give them a FAMILY. Birthmothers put the needs of our children above the desires of our hearts, and just as our own mothers do every day of their lives, Birthmom's do what is best for our children, purely because of the pure love we have for them. Birthmother's sacrifice their own happiness, for the well-being of their children. We give a little piece of our heart that can never be replaced. We give another mother the gift she was always missing. We give & give & give & give- but we never GIVE UP.
I became a mother the moment I started carrying a child. I became a mother when I gave birth to a little boy and felt the same love all mothers feel for their children. I switched roles and became a BIRTHMOTHER during that sacred moment when I placed my son into his Mother's arms. No matter how untraditional the route was that brought me there, I AM still a mother. For a fleeting moment I played the active role of one, and now I get to watch my son from the sidelines.
I am so deeply thankful for my experience, no matter how hard it has been. I am thankful for the beautiful woman who protects a part of my heart she gets to call her own- and that she gives that little boy SO much love. I am thankful that I call myself a birth MOTHER- and that no one can take that away from me.
So yes, there are still streams of tears falling down my cheeks- but they are there to remind me of what I GAVE. And that's what I will be focussing on this Mother's Day. It's still a painful day, but it is a happy day too. Wishing a very Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing women in my life who are mothers, each in our own unique ways. I love you all.