Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Special Day!

I got to spend time on Saturday and Sunday with the most amazing people. Saturday was Cash's sealing, and all of Y's family was there to join in their special day. My parents were also able to attend the sealing, and Curtis and I waited for them to finish (since we were not able to go into the temple). 
It was so great to see them so happy. Cash has grown a ton in the few months since I saw him last !! I couldn't believe it. He is such a little man now, it was so fun to see how much he interacts with everything around him. 
Then Sunday I met up with them to get my 16-month update. It was so nice to just have a relaxed meeting with them this time without any certain expectations or pressure, we just talked as any friends or family members would. 
Cash's big sister, S, recognizes me now and is getting more and more comfortable around me every time I see her. I like that. Her BM isn't involved at all, so I am sort of taking a small role in her life where her BM would've been. It was working out fine for them before Cash came along, but now my active role in their life complicates the fact that S's BM has never been. the They send me a few individual photos of her along with Cash's, and I am more than okay with that. I have been meaning to write a post about S and her BM, so I will try to get along with that shortly. I just don't want S to feel left out because of all the attention Cash gets from us, so I try to talk to her as much as I can and include her in our visits. It's important to me that she has a good outlook on birthparents and adoption when she is older, despite her own situation with it.

I've said it a thousand times already, but I could never say it enough. I love this family of 4 so much more than words can say. We have a great relationship and I know it will only get better in the years to come. I am so happy that I get to see Cash grow up and know that he is so perfectly loved and cared for. I've never seen a parent look at their children the way D&Y looks at Cash and S. Its amazing to me. You can just tell they would do absolutely anything for them, and I know they already do. 

I have been through a lot of heartache and pain these past 2 years. To say that I still cry thinking about the day I let my little boy go would be an understatement. But then I have weekends like this where I see for myself how happy he is, and it affirms to me yet again that I made the right decision. These trials I went through happened for a reason, and they brought me to this amazing family for a reason. 

Here are some pictures from my great weekend!! 

Such a happy boy!!  
So interested in the things around him
Look at the pretty flowers mom! 
Reaching back for mom
Making faces at Grandpa! 
So intrigued with the leaf !
Just love this little boy to pieces.

"In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be"

He's a mischievous little boy thats for sure !!

But so, so happy. Look at that grubby little face !!
I couldn't imagine anything cuter <3

Saturday, October 22, 2011

October 22

The date was October 22, 2009.
I was sitting on the floor in my friends bathroom with a stick in my hand. I refused to believe it was true, yet I knew it was. I very quickly made a decision that night that changed my life forever.

That was 2 years ago. Today is October 22, 2011.
I had one main reason for making the decision that I did 2 years ago. I was able to witness that reason come true today. The pain and heartache I experienced by placing Cash is all worth it now.

Cash was sealed to his adoptive parents today for time and all eternity. This means he will have the opportunity to live with his family forever in the after-life. This is such a profound thing to LDS members, and the biggest reason of why I decided to place him in an LDS home. As members, we believe that in order to have celestial glory, you must be sealed in the temple, either to your parents or to your spouse. Children who are born to parents who were married or sealed in the temple are automatically part of this covenant. For children who are not born into the covenant, like Cash, but are legally adopted, can be sealed to their parents once the adoption is finalized, therefore receiving the blessings associated with it.

It's sort of hard for me to explain, but short form: it was a really special day for Cash, his parents, and me.