Thursday, April 14, 2011

oh, they just forgot.

I texted my social worker yet again today, wondering if any pictures arrived. They hadn't, but she assured me she was trying to get to the bottom of things. (D&Y are not her "clients", so she had to go through a different office and contact their worker and sort things out) She said they had left several messages for them and hadn't heard back yet. Well she called me a minute later and said she just talked to their case worker and he said they hadn't looked at the agreement papers for awhile and had just forgotten to send me my update. I hope that was all that was behind it...
Gloria assured me that I would have something in a week, and that she reminded D&Y how important these updates are to birthmothers. We automatically assume things are wrong if something like this happens, just because we are so focused on the exact date we are supposed to receive pictures. When the 18th of March rolled around, I was SO excited, because I was expecting them any day.. now here we are nearly a month later and all that excitement slowly turned into anxiety and hopelessness. I thought they were withdrawing contact, when it was really something much simpler.
To a birthmom, waiting for an update of her child is honestly like a 6 year old waiting for Santa to bring her all her presents. You count down the days until your package arrives, and cannot wait to open it up and take a look inside.
Hopefully I only have another week until I can open my present :)


  1. I had no idea you were waiting that long. How painful. I'm sorry that it has taken so long. Can't wait for you to get your pictures!

  2. How could you possibly forget to update your birthmom?

  3. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. I'm sure it'll all work out. I've been trying for 2 years to get some sort of update for my cousin who placed her daughter and haven't had any luck. Since she's not exactly her age in mind, she's unable to do it herself and it's been hard.

  4. As a mom I can totally understand how his mommy got distracted and didnt realize how much time had gone past. Sometimes things happen and we truly are not even aware of how much time has past. I personally feel that if they were so open to such a choice as Open Adoption, then they truly didnt mean to keep the package from you. You are the reason this beautiful little boy is in their lives. They love you for it and they wouldnt do something to harm you. I hope when the package comes that it is amazing and beyond.

    Love you!

  5. I simply don't think that forgetting is acceptable. I may be unusual, but my daughter's birth mom crosses my mind at least once a day. Without her, I wouldn't be a mom. She is one of the most important people in my life. I can't fathom how they simply forgot. I don't mean to bash Cash's parents and I hope that it doesn't come across that way because I can tell how much you respect them, but I do hope they are a teency bit embarrassed and ashamed at their behavior.

  6. I had a few birthday pictures/letters turn out this way. Kind of a bummer really. I love your blog. Keep writing, it will help you through this emotional journey and you will touch so many!