Thursday, October 14, 2010

An unconditional love.

After I found out I was pregnant, I called my sister in law and asked her to come talk to me. She could tell I was upset and luckily was on her way to Lethbridge already so she stopped by. Her sister also had a baby when she was 17 so she understood more, and I trust her with anything. (shes an amazing sister, I love her so much!) anyways, she came to talk to me and I told her that I was pregnant. At first I don't think she believed me.. Or she didn't want to. Then her eyes filled up with tears as she realized this was real and she told me that everything would be okay. She told me they loved me no matter what, and that we would get through it together as a family. (I am so grateful for Tiffany and everything she did/does for me. It was so important for me to have someone there for me when I needed it and I'm so lucky to have her I my life. ) she told me I needed to tell my parents as soon as possible. Thats what I was dreading.. We had some japanese exchange students staying with us for the week. I decided to wait until they left to tell my parents because my mom stresses about everything as it is haha. So the next day we took a trip to Waterton Lakes National Resort and our cabin. I acted like nothing was wrong, but obviously I had alot on my mind! The day they left, I wrote a note to my parents explaining that I had something to tell them and to please not yell and get mad at me because I was already upset enough as it was. I told them I loved them and that I was sorry. I decided to write this note because I knew they would not be expected what I had to say, and I didn't really know how to bring it up otherwise. When I came home that night, my dad was sitting there and I immediately burst into tears and gave him a hug. He asked "Is it what I think it is?" and I nodded. He sat down again and it killed me to hear him say "girl you've broke my heart". He never yelled, or got angry which is what I was expecting. But to see my father, my hero, crushed because of something I did.. I think that was worse than being yelled at. We discussed things a little more, and my mom finally got home. She walked in and saw us sitting there crying. She asked what was wrong and I didn't say anything, she just gave me a big hug. I'm not really sure what happened then, because I didn't tell her I was pregnant so my dad must've. Or maybe she just knew. I didn't say the word "pregnant" for a long time. My mom never got mad either. I guess there was no point in it, there was nothing we could do. We discussed things, and I told them my decision to place the baby for adoption. Some people think I was forced to do it, and I want to clear that up once and for all. My parents never told me what to do. From day one, they knew I had decided on adoption and so they supported me in that. It was MY choice, and whatever I chose they would back me in that. Although difficult, they knew I wasn't ready to be a mom and I couldn't give my baby the life it deserved. I didn't want my parents to have to raise their grandchild while I went out and tried to start a life. My parents have always supported me 100% in all that I do, and just because I was pregnant at 17 didn't change anything. If anything it made them support me more. Had I wanted to be a single mother, they would've done everything they could to help me out, as any parent would. I expected a completely different reaction than what I got. No parent wants to hear their teenage daughter (or son) is having a baby. But my parents showed me that love really is unconditional and made me feel at peace with my situation. My parents and I became so close over those 9 months, and they were my biggest supports and fans by far. When I began to lose some friends, my mom grew to be one of my best friends. Before this trial we had our differences like all do, but it brought us closer together as a family.
Telling my parents so soon was the best decision I could've made at that time. I was carrying around so much stress and worry and hurt and just so many emotions.. it was a relief to share those with the people who were willing to carry them with me. It is because of my family that i was able to get through my days with my head held high. Because i knew they were rooting for me! We cried together, we laughed together, we prayed together.. And then we cried a little bit more. But the most important thing is that I knew my parents loved me, and my baby, no matter what the circumstances. They really made all the difference in the world and words cant describe how grateful I am for them. I love you mom and dad!! <3

Me and my beautiful Mom before my graduation !

Cash & Grandpa, who his middle name is after

3 Generations 

A loving Grandpa & Grandma 


  1. Dallas - I know we don't really know each other well or anything.. but I just wanted to let you know how much I look up to you. Your blog is so inspiring and every post brings me to tears. I think you are such an incredible person for everything you went through. I look forward to reading more. =)

  2. Love you, Dallas. It's true you did break our hearts, but they are on the mend now and stronger than before. Family is everything and we are nothing without those we love. A parent's love is unconditional - too bad we have to test it, but we all do. If we can learn from our experiences, they aren't mistakes at all.

  3. I am so jealous of the support you had. My stepdad's answer was basically 'I told you so' and my mom just denied the whole thing. To this day, she only brings Blake (my placed son) up when she thinks it will hurt me. Biodad's family told us they would fight for custody of Blake, and biodad's grandma passed not long after I had Blake. She had been fighting cancer for a while, and told us (Biodad and I) that all she wanted to see before her death was for her family to be together.