Thursday, November 11, 2010

my best friend.

So I decided to post about my best friend. The one person who made my life not only bearable, but enjoyable during my 9 pregnant months. This girl helped me see things as they really were, and made me realize that it wasn’t the end of the world.
I met Nikki in grade 10, and we immediately became close friends. By grade 11, we were inseparable and I knew we would be best friends forever. We told each other everything, and laughed until we cried. Most of my best memories of high school were with that girl. She moved to Nova Scotia the end of summer before grade 12, and I felt like my world was crashing down around me. I’ve always been the kind of girl that didn’t want tons of friends, but a few really close ones.  Well Nikki was my comfort zone, and I didn’t know what I was going to do without her. I was so devestated to see her leave, and I cried for hours. We texted all day every day, and it was as though she hadn’t gone anywhere. But when I took that pregnancy test and realized she wasn’t here anymore, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I immediately texted her a picture and said “that’s not two lines right…?” and she called me 2 seconds later, hesitated a bit and replied “well Dal, I guess this means I get to be a Godmother!” Nikki assured me I would not be alone in my trials, and that she would be here for me. I didn’t know how that was possible because she was all the way across the country, but a few weeks later I saw just how good of a friend Nikki is. Her sister called me and told me to come outside and help her with something in the trunk. I opened it and there was my best friend.. I burst into tears and hugged her tight. I was never letting go.. I needed her so much.

"A true friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.. " 

From that moment on, she stood by my side. We did everything together.. She loved Cash almost as if he was her own,.. we joked that she was the father, not Curt haha. For some unknown reason to me now, she was the one who came up with the name “Babis” for Cash. Her, Curt and I called him that for the last 5 months of my pregnancy, and other people started calling him that too haha. She loved to rub my belly, and kiss it, and take pictures of it. Honestly, there were times when I wondered if she would talk me out of adoption. But she knew that was what I wanted, and being the friend she is, never did. I am so thankful for her support, even if she didn’t agree with my decision. 

What a beautiful grad date I had! 

As it neared time for me to deliver Cash, Nikki started reading up on labor and what to do as a birthing coach haha. I couldn’t think of anyone better to have in the delivery room than her. (And my mom of course.) So there she was, holding my hand and encouraging me on.

 She held Cash before I even did! Lucky Auntie! 
 Her being in the delivery room was special for all of us, but one we don’t speak of anymore.. awkwaaard! haha

 She loves this little boy so much. I love her for that. She was an amazing support the whole time in the hospital, and I am so glad she was there to spend time with me and Cash. I don't think I could've gotten through it the way I did without her there encouraging me. 

We took this picture Saturday night before the placement. It was the last time she held him, and soon after this picture, tears started rolling down her cheeks. She said "I'm sorry Dal." and tried to hide them, because she was trying to stay strong for me.. But it meant the world to me, to see her care for my son that way. She kissed his tiny head goodbye, and said "I love you Babis", and then hurried out of the room. Saying goodbye to Cash wasn’t easy on her, and there are days when its clear she is still hurting. 

I am so grateful to have a friend like Nikki who comes a little bit closer to understanding what I am going through, because she loved him a lot to. I have never before met a friend like her, and I know I never will again. She is my hero, and I words cant describe how much I appreciate her friendship and support in my life. I love you Nikki! (And Babis does too :))  

1 comment:

  1. Yup. Tears in my eyes.
    Dallis I am so happy that you had such an amazing friends there for you. It just makes me so so happy to know you had such a true friend along for the ride with you. That is hard to find!