Sunday, January 23, 2011

calling all birthmoms like "Nicole" !

Attention all birthmothers ! I need help from some of you who have been through a similar situation to the girl I am about to tell you about. (Names have been changed for Privacy)

Nicole and her boyfriend Justin gave up their son Levi in 2009, and broke up shortly after. They decided at that time that they would always go together to see Levi, and not bring their new partners. It would complicate things too much for Levi if he always had to meet new people his birthparents were dating. Well, Justin has decided that he is going to bring his new girlfriend Emma (keep in mind all involved are still teenagers), and doesn't see a problem with it. Justin no longer speaks to Nicole at these visits, and doesn't even want her coming to them anymore- which I think is ridiculous, because she is Levi's mother. Anyways, Nicole is very upset about this and is super frustrated because there is not much she can do. She feels really betrayed and powerless. Emma has been stepping in and is always nagging Justin to go see Levi. This whole situation is very difficult on Nicole and her family. I am close to her sister, and she has came to me with concerns for Nicole.

If any of you birthmothers are in a similar situation, or know someone who has dealt with this, please send me an email or comment with your own story or advice I can give to Nicole. So far I have not had to deal with anything like this, so I am not in any position to give her advice.
You all are great, Thank-you!!


  1. I wasn't lucky enough for a open adoption but I would think that it would be up to the adoptive parents to decide. I would think that unless the birthparent is seriously considering marriage then they shouldn't be exposing them to the child. I would think this is the kind of situation that adoptive agencies should be helping with. I would hate to see her parents refuse visits because drama between the birthparents.

  2. I am a adoptive mum to two kids and we have all agreed that until marriage the birth parents are not to introduce their gf/bf to the kids. We see birth parents separately too