Monday, February 14, 2011

love day

Happy Valentines Day!!
Things I am grateful for today:

That 2 people fell in love, and opened their lives to my son. I am grateful for the way they have lived their lives, so that they are able to give Cash what he deserves. I am grateful that they will have him sealed to them for time and all eternity, so that one day, I will be with him again. I love D&Y so much .

Curtis. He has changed my life in so many ways, and I don’t know what I would do without him. He knows absolutely everything about me and somehow still loves me anyways. The past few years with him have made my life a complete rollercoaster, and yet I wouldn’t change a single minute of it. I say I owe my life to Cash- well, I owe it to Cash’s birthdaddy too. He is what got me through the last year and a half, and honestly without him I don’t know if I would be where I am today. He was there when I felt so alone. He was the only one who completely understood what I was feeling. We shared more than a child together- we shared an incredible love for that child. Not one person on this earth has felt the way I feel about Cash besides Curtis. When I am feeling a certain way, Curt is who I go to. Some days, I don’t even have to say anything and he just knows that I am missing Cash and tells me everything will be okay. We cry together, we laugh together, and we smile together, talking about what Cash’s life is going to be like. At times we wonder what it would be like if we had kept Cash, but we do not regret our decision. I love Curtis so much and am proud of the man he has become over the past year. I’d like to take the credit for it, but I really can’t do that. He has become an amazing person, and has grown into a great man. He too, recognizes that all this happened because of our baby boy. Our mistake that turned into a blessing. I fell in love with a man who loved my son as equally as I did. Curt showed me that it is possible to break out of the things that bind us, and to fight and become a better person when things seem impossible. When most people expected him to walk away, he instead walked into my life, and was determined to stay there. Cash will always know how much his birthfather loved him, and how lucky he is to have him in his life. Many times the birthfather doesn’t stick around, and it is the child who suffers when they go looking for answers. I am so grateful for Curtis in my life, and for everything he has helped me through. Without him, I don’t know if I could’ve gotten through what I did as easily. He supported me whole-heartedly, no matter what, and I love him for that. Curtis will always be my best friend, and father to the little boy that changed my life.

1 comment:

  1. So sweet. Like you, I am still together with the birthfather of my child. It is so nice to have someone in your life who knows exactly what you are going through and who also loves your child as much as you do.